Words for thought...

From the Couch...

I just got finished reading a book that I will probably have to read again b/c some of it was over my head but some of it made sense. It is called "The Four Agreements" (at least I think that is the title...I lent it to Mom so I don't have it handy).

Anyway the book is basically about 4 ideas...here you go...

#1 A person should be impeccable with their word. The book talked about how what people say can change not only their world but even other people's worlds. Take Hitler for example. He caused a World War by the things he said and by how his words caused people to act. Crazy how one man could have such an impact. While I may never have as powerful words as someone like Hitler (and I sure as heck don't want to cause a war...not even in my own family much less the world) the book made me aware that my words can impact people I love, friends, coworkers, even strangers...and of course Dotty. I want to be a good mom and that means saying good things or as the old saying goes...if I can't say something nice I should not say anything at all.

#2 Don't take things personally. I am having a hard time with this one. It seems all of life is so personal but I do get what the book is trying to say. Most of the time when people say harmful things to me it really isn't about me at all. It usually has much more to do with them. I know when I am mad and say hurtful things I usually do it to someone who has nothing to do with what I am upset about that person just happens to be at the wrong place at the right time. The book also talks about that as an individual we should be secure in ourselves and not need the things that other people say to make us feel one way or the other. We should like ourselves enough to not be hurt when people say mean things to us and also not to be too overjoyed when people compliment us. The truth is how we feel about ourselves matters more than what someone else says.

#3 Do not make assumptions. I do that a lot. I assume people are mad at me or feel certain ways (good or bad) or think like me or not like me...whatever. I make a lot of assumptions. The book says to not make assumptions but to get clarification by asking questions...a lot of questions. I am trying to do better in this area. Mainly b/c I seem to always assume the worst and then that makes me worry about things that don't even exist and that causes a terrible cycle.

#4 Do your best. The book says that your best is not perfection...it is not even the same from day to day. You just have to try your best...your best at doing #1, 2, and 3...your best at being you...and that is all we can do. If we do our best then we can be happy. If we fail we can try again. That is something to look forward to. We will fail. We always do. But we can always try again.

My wish to all of you is that you fail one less time than you try.